6 Alpha Male Characteristics

The Alpha of the group is the man in charge. He is the guy that women love and other men want to emulate. He is the one that everyone looks to to make decisions and be the leader.

There are 6 main traits of the Alpha male. The more of these characteristics you incorporate into your personality, the more Alpha you will be.

Trait 1: Confront

Confront literally means “to face” something. To orient yourself so that you are comfortably and fully looking at something. Not hiding, not peeking over the fence, not pretending to look at one thing while really looking at another. Just the pure attitude of “Yes. This is it. This is what's happening now.” It is a true and open acceptance of the clearly observable facts.

A man who can confront anything, even the hard things in life, is displaying Alpha characteristics. The Alpha of a group is the one who is supposed to confront. That's why he's the Alpha. Any leader, be it the unofficial leader of a social group or the founder of your company, is looked to to handle the tough stuff. Someone says something controversial? Watch the heads of all the betas. Look at who they all turn to. That's the leader. That's the Alpha. The Alpha doesn’t look to anyone but himself. He analyzes the problem, and he makes a decision. He doesn't need to hide behind anyone.

Trait 2: Communication

An Alpha is a master of communication - both verbal and nonverbal. Without the ability to communicate, the Alpha would not be in control. He wouldn't be able to remake the world in his image. In fact, no one would even know what “his image” would be. No one would know him at all. An Alpha communicates to other men so that he can lead them. He communicates to women so that he can charm them. A silent Alpha is no Alpha at all - except perhaps in his own mind.

Communication here does not mean merely making conversation. Communication is the transference of ideas from one person to another. Through whatever method, if one has impressed his thought upon another human being and had them receive it, he has communicated. It is only through communication that others can know the Alpha’s status. 

That's what peacocking is - it's communicating dominance. That's why your clothes should fit well and be in style. That's why you need to have good posture and wide hand gestures. It's why you need to be loud. It's why you need to draw attention to yourself. Being Alpha is all about Alpha communication. It's not just about words, it's about showing your ability to control the space around you. You can be as Alpha as you want in your own head, but if others don't know it then it doesn't even matter.

A “great listener” can never be Alpha because he is not communicating. Listening is not communicating. Listening is accepting the communication of another. Don't listen. Communicate. Even while saying nothing - communicate.

Trait 3: Origination

After confront and communication comes origination. Though not a word that is currently in vogue, it describes the essence of the Alpha perfectly. The Alpha is the one who creates. He is the one from which everything seems to originate. The Alpha is Origin.

The Alpha emanates control and influence. He also emanates fun, humor, camaraderie and all the characteristics that act as the social glue of society. He both the originator of the problem and the originator of the solution in whatever area he happens to be. Without him, there would be nothing at all - or so it would seem. The Alpha can turn the bar into a party house. He is the one that causes people to stay a little longer - or who gets them to leave a little sooner. To those under the Alpha’s spell, he is the originator of everything and without him, there would be nothing. The Alpha starts conversations, brings up new topics when old ones go stale, invites people into his group, casts people out of his group. He determines the venue. He chooses his destination.

The Alpha is the leader in the truest sense of the word. He is the first to go there - in conversation and in physical presence. You can easily tell the difference between a true Alpha and a beta who is temporarily taking on the role of an Alpha by this trait. Does he ask others to go there first? Or is he already there, inviting other to come with him?

The Alpha puts forth, an the rest receive him. All that surrounds the Alpha is merely the effect to his cause. His actions are not a response to his world; the world is a response to him.

Trait 4: Responsibility and Control

The hallmark of the Alpha is control. It is his defining trait. Higher degrees of control are gained with wider spheres of responsibility.

Responsibility and control are two sides of the same coin. Responsibility means the buck stops with you. You are the one people look to when thing hits the fan. And you reap the recognition when the day is saved. You're the guy that people look to to be in control of the situation. And if you are truly responsible for something, obviously you have control over it. If you can't control a situation, how could you ever be responsible if things don't go right? Responsibility implies control.

The Alpha is assigned responsibilities by those around him and willingly takes on responsibility even above that. People who see a man in control in one area will assume that he is simply the man in control, and so implicitly assign responsibility. This could be responsibility for the outcome of the night, for the choice of restaurant, for the way the discussion is going. Once a girl identifies the Alpha, there is no backing away from it. He is the Alpha in her mind, and as such, he is the one fully responsible for her happiness. Once a girl sees that you are in control, they assign responsibility to you. Once they assign responsibility, they assume that you are in fact in control. Because the Alpha understands this relationship, he will take on as much responsibility as he can. He knows that the more responsibility he shoulders, the greater his capacity to control.

Trait 5: Decisiveness

The ability to choose, and be certain of that choice, is an inherently masculine characteristic. Women have no interest in being a decision maker, and so they will surround themselves with those who can make decisions.

Indecision is a primary characteristic of the beta male as well. This makes them easy for the Alpha to control, as beta males generally default to following the choice of the nearest Alpha.

The Alpha picks a route, and follows through with it. Good or bad, right or wrong, he sticks true to his own judgement. He understands that commitment to a chosen course is often more important than choosing the right course. Those around him count on the Alpha to lead them - they cannot see any doubt in his eyes when he issues a command. When the Alpha declares “we are going to the bar”, you'd better believe that he's going to be at the bar.

Trait 6: Congruency

Congruency refers to the degree to which a person's actions align with their beliefs. It can also be called “integrity” or even “genuineness”. The Alpha acts on his feelings, thus communicating his authenticity. If he believes in something, he will act accordingly.

Believing in one thing but doing another is a purely beta routine. It is rooted in fear and limitation, which are not characteristics of the Alpha. The authenticity produced by maintaining congruency conjures the presence of conviction in the Alpha. It is his conviction which moves people and causes people to follow him. His conviction builds trust. Women know that a man with conviction will be a man more likely to survive, and provide protection to her children.

When a man takes action that he himself does not truly believe in, his uncertainty will be apparent. He will come off as inauthentic - and thus not someone to be relied on.