Change Is Hard, Here's Why You Should Keep Trying

12:01 AM Amer Bekic 0 Comments

When you close your eyes and envision the ideal version of you, the "you" that you want to be, what is different? Is he...


    More muscular?

    Less fat?

    Fashionable?

    Important?

    Rich?

    A world traveler?

    Popular with women?

    Famous?

    Whatever the hell you want out of life. It's your ideal.

Maybe just a version of you where you're genuinely happy with your life, not angry and/or sad all the time? Is this ideal person socially awkward, or fluent? How attractive are the women in his life? Does this ideal version of you feel confident walking up to a strange woman and flirting with them? Does this ideal version of you operate from a state of abundance or a state of scarcity?

I'm not here to judge your vision, I just want you to think deep for a minute on what you don't like about yourself, and what you're doing to change those things. Be honest and blunt. Harsh even. After all, you can't become the ideal version of you if you can't be honest with yourself about the things that need to change.

YOUR DESIRE TO ACHIEVE RESULTS HAS TO BE GREATER THAN YOUR FEAR OF PAIN

It's just that simple. There are a million reasons not to do something. Most of them are b@llshit rationalizations. We all do it to some extent. Tell ourselves little white lies to keep us in our comfort zones. Why would you want to leave your comfort zone? It's comfortable there. It's safe.

It's also making you weak. When you never step outside your comfort zone, you never experience anything new. When you never experience anything new, you never grow. If you never grow, you start to stagnate. The longer something stagnates, the more it wilts and dies. I see people all day long that just look dead inside. I know you've seen it too. Maybe you are one of those people. It's because they go to the same dead-end job every day, come home to do the same boring s@it, they haven't learned a new skill in years, they haven't gone anywhere interesting in years, done anything new in years, etc.

When you were a child your life was pretty much on rails.

Everything was structured for you. You were put in a classroom with a bunch of other kids your age and given new things to do for years. Obviously everybody's childhood was different, but more or less there weren't too many decisions for you to make. Life just happened. But now you're an adult, and it turns out life isn't a theme park MMO. It's a sandbox MMO, there's 7 billion other people playing it and almost none of them give a f@ck about you or are willing to help you out. Nobody is going to help you structure your life and put you on the "right" path. Your job isn't trying to help you out. They're trying to buy your life 8+ hours at a time for the cheapest amount possible so they can maximize their profits. Your cable company just wants to sell your life for advertising revenue. It's up to you to decide what' s important in your life, what you want to do with it, and who you want to be.

YOUR DESIRE TO ACHIEVE RESULTS HAS TO BE GREATER THAN YOUR FEAR OF PAIN

(I'm going to say that a few times so it hopefully sinks in)

Fear of pain comes in many forms. It's up to you to take an introspective look and discover what form your pain is, so that you may conquer it. Again, you need to be harsh with yourself. You tell yourself white lies all the time, b@llshit rationalizations as to why you're not doing what you should be doing to achieve the goals you want to accomplish.

"I don't need to work out, I'm smart/funny/whatever and they'll like me for that."

"It doesn't matter how much money I make, after all I don't want a gold-digger."

"Why would I want to go talk to her? She's probably a slut and I don't want an STD."

I'm basically just making up b@llshit at this point, but I hope you get my meaning. You make up a plausible sounding reason in your head why you shouldn't do something, something that you actually REALLY WANT TO DO, because deep down you're afraid of something else .

YOUR DESIRE TO ACHIEVE RESULTS HAS TO BE GREATER THAN YOUR FEAR OF PAIN

What pain is stopping you from getting the physique that you desire?

Is it the physical pain of working out? Did you try it last year for about a week and it really sucked so you quit? Or is it the shame? Are you ashamed of your body? Ashamed that people will look at you and snicker. Ha look at that fat guy over there, doesn't even know what he's doing with that machine. Or are you addicted to an unhealthy diet? Does giving up fast food for more than two days in a row cause you mental anguish? Maybe it's all three?

YOUR DESIRE TO ACHIEVE RESULTS HAS TO BE GREATER THAN YOUR FEAR OF PAIN

You can lie to the rest of the world about your reasons, but you need to be truthful with yourself if you're ever going to overcome your fears.

If you want to succeed at the gym, you have to want to be fit. REALLY WANT IT. You have to want it more than you're afraid of your muscles hurting. More than you're afraid of being judged, of looking like a failure. You have to want to be fit more than you want to sit on your ass and eat donuts.

You have to be aware of your true fears because you have to be mindful. You have to be mindful every time someone at work offers you a cookie. You have to literally REPROGRAM YOUR BRAIN so that your default response to a free cookie is "Oh, no thank you" and not "OM NOM NOM I HAVE NO SELF CONTROL." Excellence is repetition, you are what you do and you do well what you do repeatedly. When you don't eat cookies for long enough, and you eat enough healthy food for long enough, your body gets used to it. It starts to suck less. When you've been lifting for a few months, that muscle soreness isn't as bad. Things get better the more you do them. You realize that nobody is looking at you, because they're all too busy with themselves.

YOUR DESIRE TO ACHIEVE RESULTS HAS TO BE GREATER THAN YOUR FEAR OF PAIN

Change is also necessary

If you're waiting for life to happen to you, you'll be waiting a long time. Whatever goals you have for yourself, they don't just happen after you wait long enough. You have to take continuous, actionable steps towards those goals if you are to see progress, let alone fruition. If you want to learn a foreign language, you need to start TODAY. If you want to learn how to pick up women, you need to start TODAY. If you want to be shredded, you need to start TODAY. I'm not saying you need to go crazy on day one, but you need to be making steps. Even if its just drawing up a game plan. Do SOMETHING that gets you closer to a goal of yours. Then do something else tomorrow. And again. And again. Until you're satisfied with yourself.
There's a guy out there who just failed a 240 bench. But he could only bench 140 last year. There's a guy who got rejected by sixteen women tonight. But lucky #17 was buying what he was selling and she's pretty cute.

YOUR DESIRE TO ACHIEVE RESULTS HAS TO BE GREATER THAN YOUR FEAR OF PAIN


Go run until your lungs give out. Step into the ring and get punched a few times. Get rejected by a few women. Swallow your pride and ask for advice from someone better than you. Do whatever YOU need to do, to accomplish the goals that YOU want to accomplish.

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