The Original Series That Are Actually Canon:
1. Shaggy Rogers is a vegetarian
2: Shaggy was called “Buzz” until his 10th birthday
3: Shaggy has a collection of 653 decorator belt buckles and he wears a different buckle every episode, you just can’t see it
4: Shaggy started collecting belt buckles to combat his Scooby-Snack addiction related weight problems
5: Shaggy’s actual name is Norville
6: Shaggy found the Mystery Machine
7: Shaggy is a talented gymnast
8: Daphne wanted to be a supermodel or detective when she grew up
9: Daphne gets straight A’s in school
10: Daphne regularly loses dates because she leaves them to solve mysteries
11: Daphne’s Dad, George Blake, gave the gang a 100 dollar check to get started
12: Velma came up with the phrase “Jinkes” on the fly
13: Velma used to say “oh my” before she said Jinkes
14: Velma’s has hundreds of awards for outstanding achievements in school
15: Fred is a bass and sings from the opera Showboat when the team gets scared
16: Fred’s nickname is “Pickles” according to his school yearbook
17: Fred traveled with a performance crew as an actor before deciding to be a detective
18: Fred wants to be a mystery writer
19: Scooby’s full name is Scoobert Doo
20: Scooby Doo has a limited number of phrases he can say and has to act out anything that can’t be explained simply
21: The gang thought Scooby’s speaking was strange at first, but decided it “really wasn’t a big deal”
22: Before they had the Mystery Machine the gang used to pay their parents gas money to drive them around
BONUS: The series was supposed to be about a band who went around solving mysteries, but that completely changed when Scooby-Doo got added to the cast and became the title character
These Hearthstone cards created by randomnate might not be real, but that doesn't make them any less funny. Heck, with a bit of fine-tuning to make them more balanced, they could actually work inside the game, too.
Display Stand Process
Discreetly houses the switch and 3V Cell Battery
Pip-Boy Process 2/2
Luckily my favorite filament is a bright yellow. I hollowed out the print with a micro-bit then glued the "bulbs" to the shell, leaving the LEDs to rest behind them.
Pip-Boy Process 1/2
Print, Sand, Fill, Prime, Sand again, Prime, Paint.
Storage Box Process
Sliced up and modified in 3DSmax to fit my dimensions
Most parts printed with my Prusa i3 mk2 3D printer.
Models used and modified:- Storage Container by TJjohn12
pip-boy 3000 mkIV by Daniel Lilygreen
-XTC 3D Smooth-On product-
Most parts were covered in this after a rough pass. I used small amounts of acetone to thin down the mixture to keep smaller details.
-Vallejo Surface Primer-
Mostly for super smooth parts. Like the screen bezel and connector port. Not the best primer for paint adhesion. Use a promoter afterwards.
-Rust-Oleum Filler Primer-
I used this for everything else. Shot dry for areas with heavy corrosion. Sanded to different smoothness for corresponding real world texture.
-Tamiya Putty Grey-
Thinned down in most cases with Lacquer thinner. Used to fill gaps and hard to reach areas with heavy print lines. -Liquitex Acrylics- -Vallejo Airbrush Paint-
-Vallejo Model Paint-
-Crappy Wal-mart Acrylics-
-Design Master Clear Finish Matte Varnish-
For protecting that precious base paint layer before weathering and after to seal it all up.
Scale of the Pip-Boy was designed to be worn by my Sole Survivor character: Isaac
As you can see, he's a big dude. So the dimensions were made to fit his height and my art style.
Fourth and last part of the summary How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie.
1. Begin with a praise and honest appreciation.
“If you must find fault, this is the way to begin”
If your employee/colleague just finished his work on a project with a few mistakes. The best way to make him fix those mistakes and avoid making him feel bad, is to first point out the right things he did. Tell him he did a great job, credit his hard work, his commitment. Forget those mistakes for a moment and find the correct things he did. After giving him an honest praise, you can tell him about the things you dislike and you would like him to change.
People are much more eager to hear unpleasant things after they’ve been complimented and praised for their good points.
2. Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
“How to criticize and not be hated for it”Charles Schwab once found some of his employees smoking in a non-smoking area. Instead of showing his employees the sign “No Smoking” above their heads and say, “Can’t you read?” he decided to walk over to the men and hand them a cigar to each while saying “I’ll appreciate it, boys, if you will smoke these on the outside.”.
Charles used a great indirect way to address the issue, instead of criticizing the men directly. Most people don’t like when they get criticized directly, it makes them feel offended and inferior.
3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
“Talk about your own mistakes first”
Before pointing out on people’s mistakes, it is wise to first point out that you have made similar mistakes in the past. This way you appear humble and understanding to the other person, you don’t intimidate him, you encourage him to keep improving himself.
Carnegie was tempted to criticize his secretary for the rookie mistakes she did. But after a little thought, he realized that he had made worse mistakes when he was in her age, so instead of just pointing out her mistakes, she would tell her that he used to be in her situation years ago.
Admitting one’s own mistakes - even when one hasn’t corrected them - can help convince somebody to change his behavior.
4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
“No one likes to take orders”
People don’t like getting told what to do. Instead of giving direct orders to people by saying “Do this” or “Don’t do that”, we should suggest by saying “You might consider” or “Do you think that will work”. This way the person will feel important, we give them the opportunity to correct their mistakes, rethink about the problem. In addition, it gives them the feeling of taking part in the decision.
Asking questions not only makes an order more palatable, it often stimulates the creativity of the persons whom you ask. People are more likely to accept an order if they have had a part in the decision that caused the order to be issued.
5. Let the other person save face.
Carnegie tells a story about a woman who had made a major mistake in her first project. When she was called to give a report, she admitted that she made a mistake and the report should be remade. Her boss instead of getting angry at her, she thanked her for her work and remarked that it was not unusual for a person to make an error on a new project and that he had confidence that the repeat survey would be accurate and meaningful to the company. He assured her, in front of all her colleagues, that he had faith in her and he knew she had done her best. He told her that the reason she failed was due to her lack of experience, not her insufficient ability.
Even if we are right and the other person is definitely wrong, we only destroy his ego by causing him to lose face. Antoine de Saint-Exupery wrote: "I have no right to say or do anything that diminishes a man in his own eyes. What matters is not what I think of him, but what he thinks of himself. Hurting a man in his dignity is a crime."
6. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement.
“How to spur people on to success”
Praising people when they improve, is a very effective way to encourage them to keep doing it. Animal trainers use this technique for centuries, when the animal shows the slightest improvement on its behavior the trainer immediately rewards it with a treat. The same works for humans too, make them feel good when they improve and it will boost their dedication.
As psychologist Jess Lair comments: “Praise is like sunlight to the warm human spirit; we cannot flower and grow without it. And yet, while most of us are only too ready to apply to others the cold wind of criticism, we are somehow reluctant to give our fellow the warm sunshine of praise.”
7. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
“Give a dog a good name”
A good example that Carnegie offers is when a mechanic working at a truck dealership had been falling off his job recently. The service manager, instead of firing or threatening the mechanic had another idea. He called the mechanic to his office and told him that his recent work has been off lately, something which was strange as he used to be an excellent mechanic in the past, having customers praising his work. The mechanic after that discussion significantly improved his performance since he wanted to live up to his reputation.
"If you want to improve a person in a certain aspect, act as though that particular trait was already one of his or her outstanding characteristics."
8. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
Telling someone, they’re bad and stupid, will only make things worse and kill the motivation to improve. If instead of that we encourage them every time they take a step towards improvement, we boost their motivation to continue.
Carnegie once declined to play a game of bridge with a friend, he stated that the game was too complicated for him. His friend told him, “Why, Dale, it is no trick at all. The is nothing to bridge except memory and judgment. You’ve written articles on memory. Bridge will be an inch for you. It’s right up your alley.” That helped Carnegie learn bridge in no time that night. All because his friend told him he had a natural flair for it and the game was made to seem easy.
Be liberal with your encouragement, make the thing seem easy to do, let the other person know that you have faith in his ability to do it, that he has an undeveloped flair for it - and he will practice until the dawn comes in the window in order to excel.
9. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
“Making people glad to do what you want”
To be an effective leader, keep these guidelines in mind when it is necessary to change attitudes or behavior:
- Be sincere. Don’t promise anything you can’t deliver. Forget
about the benefits to yourself and concentrate on the benefits to the
- Know exactly what you want the other person to do.
- Be empathetic. Ask yourself what it is the other person really wants.
- Consider the benefits that person will receive from doing what you suggest.
- Match those benefits to the person’s wants.
- When you make your request, put it in a form that will convey to the other person the idea that he personally will benefit.
People horrifically f@cking up facts about evolution and genetics too support their stupid beliefs or to seem smart and “rational” is probably one of my big pet peevesAn enormous number of racists, misogynists, homophobes and transphobes I’ve met eventually whip out something about evolutionary biology and they never, ever, ever, ever have the slightest shadow of even a half-right idea what any of it means or ever cite a claim ever actually made by a scientific study.
Here’s a quick handy reference list or anyone who isn’t sure:
- Homosexuality does exist in almost all social species.
- “Alpha males” are not a real phenomenon and in fact the most aggressive males tend to be the least reproductively successful.
- “Survival of the fittest” simply means that the success of a species hinges on how well it “fits” its environment. It does not mean that stronger or smarter individuals are supposed to succeed. Those things can even be a detriment in nature by wasting too many resources.
- “Race” is not a biological concept. Someone who looks different from you has the same human genes, just a different grab-bag of dominant traits.
- Evolution is not a march towards higher complexity, more intelligence or even more adaptability. It’s just a fluctuation of characteristics dictated by environmental pressures and mutation. A slime mold isn’t “less evolved” than a hawk, just adapted for success under different parameters.
- People didn’t evolve “from apes.” It’s more complicated than that. We are a category of ape, sharing a common ancestor with the other apes.
- No human on Earth is “closer” to an evolutionary ancestor than any other. We all descended from the same one.
- Neanderthals were also a “sibling” species of ours. We didn’t evolve from them.
- Some of us did, however, cross-breed with Neanderthal man. It is exclusively non-African races, such as white people, who still carry hybrid human/Neanderthal genes. Whoops, sorry “white purity” skinheads, you’re actually mixed with a whole other species.
Third Part (summary) of the book How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie.
This is gonna be a bit long but worth a read I believe. Keep in mind that our goal here is to change the opinion of the person and get the outcome that we want from the interaction. The main point of this post is that you win arguments emotionally, not rationally. Control their emotions and you are gonna be the winner.
1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
“You can’t win an argument”
Most of us are drawn to argue with others when we think that we’re right about something and the other person is wrong. We think that if we explain to that person our knowledge to the topic and give rational arguments, we are going to make him change his opinion. Well, that does rarely happen, most people even if they are proved wrong, they will feel resentment and a sense of inferiority, this will result not liking us at all. Not to mention that he will not likely change his opinion at all, cause arguing makes the other person feel even more firmly convinced that he is right.
“If you argue and rankle and contradict, you may achieve a victory sometimes; but it will be an empty victory because you will never get your opponent's good will.”
Carnegie gives the following tips to keep a disagreement from becoming an argument:
- Welcome the disagreement. If there is some point
you haven't thought about, be thankful if it is brought to your
attention. It might have saved you from making a mistake.
- Distrust your first instinctive impression. Our first natural reaction in a disagreeable situation is to be defensive. Be careful. Keep calm and watch out for your first reaction.
- Control your temper. Remember, you can measure the size of a person by what makes him or her angry.
- Listen first. Give your opponents a chance to talk. Do not resist, defend or debate. Let them finish!
- Look for areas of agreement. When you have heard your opponents out, dwell first on the points and areas on which you agree. There are usually some things on which you can both agree.
- Be honest. Look for areas where you can admit error and say so. Apologize for your mistakes. It will help disarm your opponents and reduce defensiveness.
- Promise to think over your opponents' ideas and study them carefully. And mean it. Your opponents may be right. It is a lot easier at this stage to agree to think about their points than to move rapidly ahead and find yourself in a position where your opponents can say: "We tried to tell you, but you wouldn't listen."
- Thank your opponents sincerely for their interest. Anyone who takes the time to disagree with you is interested in the same things you are. Think of them as people who really want to help you, and you may turn your opponents into friends.
- Postpone action to give both sides time to think through the problem. Suggest that a new meeting be held later that day or the next day, when all the facts may be brought to bear. Ask yourself if the opponents may be right or partly right.
2. Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong.”
“A sure way of making enemies -and how to avoid it”
Saying to a person “You’re wrong and I am going to prove it to you” is simply the worst thing you can do at the start of an argument. This happens because you put the person in the defensive.
When we say they’re wrong, we tell them we are smarter and we should teach them a thing or two. It arouses opposition and makes the listener to battle with you before you even start. People don’t care as much about ideas-arguments as they care about their self-esteem. Make your listener feel inferior and attacked and you will never alter their opinion, for you have hurt their feelings.
Instead what you should be doing is start with a polite manner. For example, "Well, now, look, I thought otherwise, but I may be wrong. I frequently am. And if I am wrong, I want to be put right. Let's examine the facts."
“You will never get into trouble by admitting that you may be wrong. That will stop all argument and inspire your opponent to be just as fair and open and broad-minded as you are. It will make him want to admit that he, too, may be wrong.”
3. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
Carnegie tells a story when a policeman caught him for the second time having his dog without a muzzle in the park. The first time the policeman had warned him strictly that it was against the law. The second-time Carnegie had no excuses. He was wrong. What Carnegie did was to immediately admit his mistake, criticize himself and tell the policeman that he was guilty and had no alibis. The policeman didn’t get the chance to say a word before Carnegie started to talk. When Carnegie stopped, the policeman said softly to him that he was overreacting, he also told him that he can take his dog to the other side of the park where he “wouldn’t see him”.
Why did the policeman react softly? It is because the policeman being human, wanted a feeling of importance, so when Carnegie began to condemn himself, the only way he could nourish his self-esteem was to take the magnanimous attitude of showing mercy.
Next time you make a mistake, instead of defending yourself admit your wrongdoing. This will disarm the other person and make him act empathetically.
“Any fool can try to defend his or her mistakes - and most fools do - but it raises one above the herd and gives one a feeling of nobility and exultation to admit one's mistakes.”
4. Begin in a friendly way.
“A drop of honey catches more flies than a gallon of gall”
It is far better to be friendly and understanding than be forceful and angry when you’re having a conversation. If we try to approach a person by being hostile to them, the only thing we are going to get is to make them even more unreceptive against us. Instead, we should be friendly and make the other person understand that we actually have more things in common than differences.
"If you come at me with your fists doubled," said Woodrow Wilson, "I think I can promise you that mine will double as fast as yours; but if you come to me and say, 'Let us sit down and take counsel together, and, if we differ from each other, understand why it is that we differ, just what the points at issue are,' we will presently find that we are not so far apart after all, that the points on which we differ are few and the points on which we agree are many, and that if we only have the patience and the candor and the desire to get together, we will get together."
5. Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.
“The secret of Socrates”
When starting a conversation with someone, try to point out the things that you both agree as much as possible, get them to say “yes”. According to Professor Overstreet, when a person says “no” it’s very difficult to make him change his answer. That happens because people want to stay consistent with what they have said previously, especially when it’s something which they denied in the first place. So, the best strategy is to begin with the things which you both agree, this way you will give an affirmative direction to the conversation.
Socrates did the same thing. He would ask questions with which his opponent would have to agree. He kept on winning one admission after another until he had an armful of yeses. He kept on asking questions until finally, almost without realizing it, his opponents found themselves embracing a conclusion they would have bitterly denied a few minutes previously.
6. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
“The safety valve in handling complaints”
Let people talk themselves out. Let them explain their problem and situation, they probably know better than you about it. Don’t try to interrupt them even if you don’t agree with what they’re saying. Ask them questions and try to understand them.
If you want to make friends, let them talk about themselves, they care more about their accomplishments than yours.
“If you want enemies, excel your friends; but if you want friends, let your friends excel you.”
7. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
“How to get cooperation”
We usually have more faith in our ideas than on other people’s ideas. Wouldn’t it be better if instead of forcing our ideas to other people, make them feel like our idea is theirs? People don’t like being told what to do, they want to feel autonomous, they prefer to act independently.
It is much wiser to give suggestions in a way that the other person will come to the conclusion that we want, hence make them think of the idea we had in mind in the first place is theirs. This can work wonders on people of higher authority than yours. Don’t tell the boss your idea completely as he will for sure try to change it, give him the half solution and help him work his way out to the conclusion that you want. This way his ego will be boosted and he will passionately support the idea as he will think it was his own.
8. Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
“A formula that will work wonders for you”
A person might be wrong, but would he insist if he didn’t think he was right? Instead of criticizing and condemning them, we should try to understand them. There’s always a reason behind a person’s opinion, maybe if we put ourselves in their situation we might be able to understand them. Ask yourself “how would I react if I were in his shoes?”
“There is a reason why the other man thinks and acts as he does. Ferret out that reason - and you have the key to his actions, perhaps to his personality. Try honestly to put yourself in his place.”
9. Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
“What everybody wants”
One of the easiest ways to stop arguments, eliminate ill feeling, create good will, and make the other person listen attentively is to be understanding and sympathetic.
The phrase: “If I were you I would undoubtedly feel just as you do.” can work wonders to any person you are interacting with. Sympathizing with the other person’s view and putting ourselves in their shoes will make the other person more positive towards our views. People strive for recognition of their troubles and ideas.
10. Appeal to the nobler motives.
“An appeal that everybody likes”
A person usually has two reasons for doing something: one that sounds good and a real one. The real reason will usually be considered by the person himself, but it’s our duty to make them think about the nobler one.
All people being idealists at heart want to find something more, something nobler which will enable them to make action. A deed which will boost their pride, boost their self-esteem, honor their commitment.
Dale Carnegie gives an example when a landlord appealed to a tenant’s nobler motives to make him commit to his contract which said that he had to stay for at least a couple of months. The tenant wanted to move out but the landlord managed to change his decision by telling him: “I have listened to your story, and I still don't believe you intend to move. Years in the renting business have taught me something about human nature, and I sized you up in the first place as being a man of your word. In fact, I'm so sure of it that I'm willing to take a gamble.”.
11. Dramatize your ideas.
“The movies do it. TV does it. Why don’t you do it?”
Watching commercials can help us understand this. Usually advertisers will compare their product with their competitor’s product and show the difference in the results. Other advertisements include happy people using the product, “expert scientists” saying that it’s the best thing out there.
Instead of using words, advertisers like to dramatize, they like to show the advantages of what is being sold instead of just “telling” them.
This is the day of dramatization. Merely stating a truth isn't enough. The truth should be made vivid, interesting, dramatic. You should use showmanship. The movies do it. Television does it. And you will have to do it if you want attention.
12. Throw down a challenge.
“When nothing else works, try this”
People love challenge and competition. That’s what games do, they give the person a reward, an achievement every time they complete something. Things get far more interesting, if you can add a “game” element to it. In the recent years, gamification has been a very genuine way to motivate people. It doesn’t only work on children, but on also on employees. It gives people a chance for self-expression, a chance to prove their worth and win.
As Charles Schwab said, “The way to get things done is to stimulate competition. I do not mean in a sordid, money-getting way, but in the desire to excel."
This poor woman went through hell to leave an abusive relationship and yet you all still think Trump isn’t that bad.
Confession: I used to belong to this culture that trump supporters claim as their own.
Not entirely willingly, mind. I was young, religious, and I made the naïve mistake in thinking that all Christians were like the ones I had encountered at my home church: warm, tolerant, kind. I fell in love, and we did what young, hormonal Christian teenagers did: rushed into a marriage.
I realized my mistake almost immediately, but it took far too long to get out.
Personally, I endured abuse at the hands of my new husband—mental, physical, sexual, economic, emotional. You name it, he did it. Brutal is an understatement. He systematically broke me down until I was a shell of a human being. I’m still dealing with the emotional fallout and physical side effects, and I probably will be for another decade at least.
That’s personally, but let’s talk his family. Because he was an extreme case, yes, but he was raised with the idea that women existed to keep their mouths shut and their legs open. I spit out two children faster than I could whip my head, because birth control wasn’t part of god’s grand plan for my life. I was fulfilling my purpose as a mother, and wasn’t that great? My husband didn’t want the first baby. He wanted me for himself, see? Abortion was unthinkable, but he fully expected to carry a baby—my baby—to term, then give it away.
Keeping him was my first rebellion. Keeping the next one was my second.
In the time I belonged to that family, I watched my mother-in-law endure the same, though less extreme mistreatment. I watched every young female family member be groped by the family patriarch. “That’s just how it is.” I was shamed for making a fuss about it. I watched an older cousin try to sexually assault my teenage sister-in-law and she was the one who felt ashamed. We women made family dinners while the men sat on their asses. My husband and I lived with his parents for a short time. She and I would go to work each morning—an hour each way—with our husbands sitting in their robes in the living room, playing video games. When we returned hours later, weary, exhausted, they hadn’t moved. The standard greeting? “What’s for dinner.”
That’s his family, and yes, some families are sexist, but let’s talk about church. That’s where all of this is validated, encouraged, taught. Imagine my shock, when I went to my new husbands’ family church and encountered muted xenophobia and racism, a heavy dose of homophobia, and some damned overt sexism (see above.)
Equal roles, but different. Sound familiar? This is still being taught to little girls today.
In church, I listened with quiet disgust as pastors preached about how awful my sister—one of the gays—was. I piped up and asked how that sexual sin was any different than the two young church kids who’d just been caught “in a bad way”, soon to expect their first baby. Sexual sin is sexual sin, isn’t it? I sure did get an earful for that one. We did church boycotts: Disney, Target. Every Sunday School class: Job, cookies, and lets pray God saves the moos-lims before they all come over and blows us up. We revered people with white savior complexes who went to be jesus’s hands and feet and save the poor, helpless Africans.
Hate and ignorance, wrapped up in the holy Scripture. Hallelujah.
Meanwhile, I endured this abuse. This abuse, and every door slammed in my face as my husband hit me, tortured me. “Stay true to your vows,” the pastor would say. “You have communication issues,” our sister-in-law would tell us. My mother-in-law: “Linds, you just have to accept it. Love is a choice.”
“But what about the part where it says that husbands are to love their wives like Christ loves the church?” I asked.
My brother in law, joking: “This is why women aren’t supposed to speak in church.”
This America is alive and kicking, kids. It’s never gone away; it’s just been lurking, behind closed doors. “Pass the casual racism and meat loaf, would you? And get me a glass of water while you’re up. Ketchup, too.” What I’m scared about, truly, is that I know this. And these ideas are now validated. Now mainstream. Almost 50% of our population believes this is a good idea.
“It’s our time to take America back.”
What in the hell, if they’ve been saying these things behind closed doors, and if they believe them In The Name Of God—what in the hell are they going to say in the open, now? What in the hell are they going to do?
The 50s are revered as the aspirational yester-year, days gone by. Progress, as we call it, is godlessness to them. We, the godless libs, took Jesus out of schools. We’ve gone wrong ever since.
This is the America people want back, and that’s my first fear.
The second is this:
I got out. And I’m terrified that this, my success story, won’t happen anymore.
I’m the rare statistic. I un-brainwashed and educated myself. I got counseling (against every Christian advice) to tread sever post-partum depression (surprise!) and in the process of becoming a healthier person, I realized what a goddamn mess I was.
It took three tries and a pastor-pseudo-therapist legitimately telling me, “You know if he hits you again, Linds, I’m going to have to tell you to leave.” All regretful, like it was bad news.
“Why should I stick around and wait for it to happen again?” I asked.
He didn’t have the answer. I left the next week.
It took a few boldfaced lies (it’s temporary, it’s just a separation), and a few miracles, and a large support system of family and friends who all but plucked me out of that hell.
For leaving? My price was excommunication. From his family, our friends, our church. I am the heathen who Divorced my Husband and broke our home. In that entire city, only three people talk to me now.
(No loss, but it took a long time to recognize that.)
I never, ever would have made it on my own. I had two small children, a new job that barely paid a living wage, and I was, as I’ve said, a shell of a human being. I left him and went straight to the human services office. Without subsidized childcare, healthcare, and food supplements, we would have starved or been homeless. It never would have been possible.
These are the services that will probably be cut first.
How will anyone in my situation ever be able to leave? They won’t. Not to mention federal funding for shelters, crisis counseling for families, healthcare for abused women, and legal services for domestic violence victims. Throw in a court system that doesn’t value women, and a cultural mentality that believes what happens behind closed doors should stay behind closed doors, and what hope do abused, trapped women have?
If this is what makes America great again, I want out. I’ve been there, done that, and I’m never, ever doing it again.
You’ll take it back over my cold, lifeless body.
Some men go through life in a very predictable pattern, always seeking validation for their pro-social behavior. Whether it be as children when they follow the directions of parents, teachers, other adults, or when they grow up and adopt the familiar narratives that so many men fall victim to in their journey through life. In my time in academia I saw many of these men, often seeking predictable safe degrees in engineering, business, accounting, that they had been planning to do for most of their life. Their time prior to college had often been spent getting the best grades possible, maximizing their extracurricular activities, keeping up their perfect attendance scores and otherwise maximizing their chances of getting into a "good" college.
A majority of them had a life-plan laid out that went something along the lines of get into a good college, get a solid degree with good grades, intern with one of the top companies available, graduate, get a job with this company, work their way up the corporate ladder, be rewarded with a beautiful s@xpot wife, 2.4 kids and a beautiful home. This goal was their motivation and they put their nose to the grindstone every single day to make it a reality. However, as is often the case with plans, in their meeting with reality few if any hold up.
As Mike Tyson once said "Everyone has a plan 'till they get punched in the mouth."
The trouble that such men often face, is that rather than designing their own path in life, they accepted the various narratives that they had been presented with while growing up and then permitted their super-ego to govern their life, for years if not decades. The "Good Boys" are convinced that there is an inner morality to the world, and that the social narratives present the good way to live, thus if one lives according to the narratives, one will be rewarded for one's good behavior. This world-view is embodied in the concept of karma, where good things come to good people and bad things happen to bad people.
Perhaps the most obvious narrative is related to behavior that is a benefit to the social group that the man lives within, for instance being a hard worker and tax-payer is pro-social. This is because the man is not only producing the product of his labor for society, his salary also helps finance public goods regardless of his need for these or not. These public goods are intended to increase the overall happiness within the social group, in an ideal world, perhaps this man could utilize the money he pays in taxes to obtain goods that would cause an overall increase in happiness for him.
One could take two men, one is the worker outlined above, the other earns money to live through a life of crime. The former will help contribute to maintaining the rule of law through both law-abiding behavior and assistance in financing law-enforcement. The latter will negative affect the rule of law through breaking it at his leisure, and as one does not pay taxes on ill-gotten goods, he is not financing law enforcement.
Thus, social narratives are largely based around pro-social behaviors, children are encouraged to say their prayers, eat their vegetables, listen to authority figures and follow the rules. The "Good Boys" do this and frequently go above and beyond in the way they conduct their lives. The social narratives are in their most reduced form, a set of guidelines for how to live a morally correct life, with the promise of rewards following those who are "good boys". A society that explicitly encourages anti-social behavior is one that will not last very long, as the basic social contract is based on advantages gained through organizing in a social group.
The "Good Boys" are very often classic Beta males who buy into the various inters@xual narratives that society seeks to ingrain in them from birth. These narratives historically served the same purpose as the pro-social narratives, as there is such a thing as a pro-social inters@xual dynamic. Our ancestors recognized that the family unity, and on a slightly larger scale, the tribal unit was the foundation of any group. In a way any nation can be broken down into component groups ending with the family as the smallest unit. Pro-social inters@xual behavior is the foundation of the family unit and thus it was encouraged and rewarded throughout history.
Such pro-social intersexual behavior includes the principles that are central to most religion, such as fidelity, loyalty, honor and duty, by ensuring that a great majority of men could have a wife, one ensured that they would have children, by ensuring that men had children one secured their future investment in the social group. After all, it was widely recognized and enforced that a man had a duty to support his wife and his children. Likewise it was enforced that in exchange for the man's labor, the wife and the children would follow his lead. When a man was seeking to marry a woman, he would ask her father for permission prior to proposing, and if permission was granted, the wife would move from the house of her father to the house of her husband.
This helped ensure that future families be stable, and in the best interest of the involved parties as the wisdom of both extended families carried much weight in the process. However, as we depart our history, the changes that in many ways began with the first wave of feminism, and have been part of an ever increasing feedback system, started to take on dramatic effects. First, divorce became much more commonplace than it had once been, where a woman or man in an unsuccessful marriage could seek a divorce if certain conditions were filled. This was then replaced by no-fault divorce, where no conditions must be met except "I want a divorce". S@xual freedom went from the ability of a woman to not be damaged goods if she had a long-term relationship or two, to what the manosphere today refers to as "riding the carousel" and an epidemic of single-mothers.
However, one thing that didn't change much were the narratives presented to the "Good Boys", the soul-mate myth is still sold in our culture through what has been called "The Disney Narrative", that encompasses "Happily ever after", that consists of both building the foundation for oneitis, that elevates a woman onto the pedestal, but also the idea that marrying the "right woman" is the key to a fulfilled life.
The "Become a man" narrative, that has changed from the old order where once a man married he was expected to also take care of the best interests of his wife and children, to a narrative in which the man must put his own best interests last in a hierarchy that he enables through his labor and duty. A man would in history be expected to be responsible for his wife and his children, to do the work required in order to fulfill this duty, and in exchange he would be the family patriarch. This is the narrative that is still presented to the "Good Boys" yet the reality differs, as the husband has become the source of comedy in our popular culture, and little more than the enabler of his wife's delusions.
This post is a summary of the second part of the book How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie.
Part Two: Six Ways to Make People Like You
1. Become genuinely interested in other people.
“Do This and You'll Be Welcome Anywhere”
When you become interested in other people they instantly like you. That is because people only think about themselves all the time. They don’t care about you or anyone else, when they interact with you, they just wait for the moment to start talking about themselves and their lives. So, the best thing you can do is be interested in what they’re doing and thinking. Think about the people you like the most, aren’t they the ones who were interested in you? Did you like the ones who kept talking only about themselves? In addition, say “hello” and greet people with enthusiasm, it is one of the easiest ways to show interest and excitement when you meet people.
If you want others to like you, if you want to develop real friendships, if you want to help others at the same time as you help yourself, keep this principle in mind.
“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”
“A simple way to make a good first impression.”
Smiling is one of the most effective ways to tell other people that you are actually glad to see them. Smiling is so strong that it can be communicated even through the phone, as our voice and the way we talk changes. In addition, it is very important that our smile is genuine, fake smiles can be easily detected and have a negative impact to the person we’re talking too. If you’re not used to smiling, try to change your mood, think of more positive things, be happy for what you already have. People seek happiness in their lives, if you convey happiness (you smile) then people will gladly follow and talk to you.
“Your smile is a messenger of your good will. Your smile brightens the lives of all who see it. To someone who has seen a dozen people frown, scowl or turn their faces away, your smile is like the sun breaking through the clouds. Especially when that someone is under pressure from his bosses, his customers, his teachers or parents or children, a smile can help him realize that all is not hopeless – that there is joy in the world.”
3. Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language
“If you don’t do this, you are headed for trouble.”
Calling a person by their name makes that person feel important. Competent managers remember all of their employees’ names, they know it is a crucial factor to good leadership.
Jim Farley who became chairman of the Democratic National Committee and Postmaster General of the United States, when asked what was his secret to success, he said that he remembers 50.000 people by their first name. Every time he met a new person it didn’t matter if it was the president or a simple worker, he would ask for his/her name and remember it.
“We should be aware of the magic contained in a name and realize that this single item is wholly and completely owned by the person with whom we are dealing and nobody else. The name sets the individual apart; it makes him or her unique among all others. The information we are imparting or the request we are making takes on a special importance when we approach the situation with the name of the individual. From the waitress to the senior executive, the name will work magic as we deal with others.”
4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
“An easy way to become a good conversationalist.”
When Carnegie attended at a party, he was approached by a woman asking him to tell her about his travels across Europe. After a bit of talk, she remarked that she has been recently into Africa with her husband. After hearing that, Carnegie asked her how her experience had been. The rest of the conversation went on about her trip and she never asked about his travels. All that woman wanted was a listener, someone to tell about her experiences, she didn’t want to learn about Carnegies’ trip to Europe.
When Carnegie attended at a party, he had a long conversation with a botanist. Even though Carnegie had little knowledge about botany, he was clearly interested to what the man had to say, so he listened intently. When the party ended, the botanist said to the host that Carnegie was “the most interesting conversationalist”, even though Carnegie had hardly said anything in that conversation, all he did is to listen and encourage the man to talk.
*When you’re in a conversation, aim to do 75% listening and 25% talking, try to find what are the interests of the other person, then encourage them to talk about themselves. *
“Remember that the people you are talking to are a hundred times more interested in themselves and their wants and problems than they are in you and your problems. A person's toothache means more to that person than a famine in China which kills a million people. A boil on one's neck interests one more than forty earthquakes in Africa. Think of that the next time you start a conversation.”
5. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests
“How to interest people”
Theodore Roosevelt was known for his diverse range of knowledge he had. Everybody who visited him, whether it was a politician, a cowboy or a doctor he knew how to engage the problem and what to say. But how did he do it? He would simply read about the visitor’s interests the night before, so he knew about the subject the person was interested in.
As he said, “the royal road to a person's heart is to talk about the things he or she treasures most.”
The previous principle told us that people love to talk about themselves. This principle tells us that the next best thing to talk about is about the other person’s interests. People love good listeners, but they love even more listeners who are knowledgeable about the things they’re interested in.
6. Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely
“How to make people like you instantly”
People grieve for approval, recognition, to feel important. How many times we’ve seen people that feel underappreciated by their boss, the society and their loved ones in general?
You can change a person’s mood by giving him a genuine compliment or praise him for something. Whenever you meet a person ask yourself “What is there about him that I can honestly admire?” “What makes this person unique?” it is not easy, but if you try hard enough there is surely something you can find!
One day Carnegie was at the post office. He saw a clerk who looked bored and unhappy. He noticed his nice hair and said: “I certainly wish I had your head of hair.” The man responded with enthusiasm “Well, it isn’t as good as it used to be”. Carnegie assured him that although it might have lost some of its pristine glory, nevertheless it was still magnificent. The pleasant conversation lasted a little more.
That man completely changed his mood by hearing a simple compliment, that made his day. “If we are so contemptibly selfish that we can't radiate a little happiness and pass on a bit of honest appreciation without trying to get something out of the other person in return - if our souls are no bigger than sour crab apples, we shall meet with the failure we so richly deserve.”
In a Nutshell - Six Ways to Make People Like You
- Principle 1 - Become genuinely interested in other people.
- Principle 2 - Smile.
- Principle 3 - Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
- Principle 4 - Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
- Principle 5 - Talk in terms of the other person's interests.
- Principle 6 - Make the other person feel important-and do it sincerely.
Summary: Very common but also very naive question is "how to make her like me?". As if being likeable is a helpful trait. It's understandable where it comes from. All the nice guys think that there is some sort kind of shortcut between being liked and being loved.
Unfortunately, the only fast track is to being friendzoned. Also, being loved and desired are two separate things. Let's sort this mess out.
Why Would You Want Her To Like You?!
Who on earth you would want to make her like you? The image that comes to mind is some sorry and hopeless guy sending "that one girl" thousands of likes on social media in a futile attempt to get her attention. Sadly, he's among hundreds of others who are invisible to her. And rightfully so.
First impression cannot be changed. If she liked you and you were a nice guy then you're invisible to her s@xually. You're not even considered. Whatever you do, however you think it might go, it won't lead to s@x.
If you think there is a sequence that goes from being liked to being attractive then you're delusional. These aspects are orthogonal. She can like you and want to have s@x with you or she can hate you and still spend a wild night (even if it's going to be just one night). So instead of getting a girl to like you, focus on making her want you.
Attraction Is Always First
If there were any clear sequence of emotions then I'd say attraction is first. Obviously, there is a matter of physical attractiveness, your style, the way you move and smile. But most of cold approaches happen where she hasn't even seen you beforehand. So there you are, right in front of her and she has a lot of things to process very quickly.
Of course everything physical is processed first. But then there are other qualities in play - your charm, wit, lifestyle, whatever you promote as your main feature. Girls very quickly decide whether or not they would like to love you. So why do we need more than a "hey, you're cute, give me your number"?
Some of those girls will be green lights ("yes, please"), some red ("no, never") but many will be various shades of orange ("maybe"). It's a matter of changing that "maybe, I don't know" to "well, why not" or at least "there might be something to him".
Some girls will be down to a relationship while others will be open for casual s@x. You want to plant the seed, filter and sort everything out during your initial approach. 2 minutes of flirting isn't enough for her to learn enough to realize that she wants you and she's accepting all the risks that might come with seeing you and sleeping with you.
She Doesn't Have To Like You To Sleep With You
S@xual attractiveness has nothing to do with being likeable. That's why you always hear stories about "those jerks", that's why girls go to bed with guys who they know nothing about. If she's attracted then she wants you and that's it.
I'm not saying that it's an advantage when she hates you nor that if she happens to like you then it is bad. Those are unrelated. If she fancies you or you are intriguing or exciting then she will want to spend more time with you to get more of those emotions. Stop trying to learn how to get a girl to like you as you gain nothing by that.
Be A Threat
People like what they are not afraid of. Do you really want that girl to think that you are harmless like a puppy? Where's excitement in that? She wants you to be a dangerous man. She dreams of taming you but at the same time, she's excited by the risk.
If you're not dangerous nor exciting nor mysterious nor unpredictable (and so on) then you're boring. And why would anyone subject themselves to boredom? We enjoy being thrilled and we even seek that feeling - motorbike riding, rollercoasters, horror movies, mountaineering, sailing, etc.
There is no point in learning how to get a girl to like you. Do not focus on being likeable, work on being attractive and avoid being unlikable. That's it.
There is a big difference between actively doing things to make other people like you and avoiding being an unlikable social outcast. Don't be unnecessarily rude, don't lie, don't break your promises, etc. Avoid doing things that scare people away because - surprise, surprise - she is also amongst people around you.
But it's a passive quality, you don't have to do much to avoid pissing off other individuals.
- She doesn't have to like you to sleep with you
- Focusing on being likable leads straight to friendzone
- Apparently five most popular male characters in women's pornographic fiction are: vampire, werewolf, billionaire, pirate, and surgeon. I struggle to find anyone even remotely likeable and harmless on that list.
- There has to be way for her to rationalize what she's doing but scenarios that start "he was such a likeable guy" rarely end with "one thing led to another".
- Be attractive, don't be unlikable. That's enough.
In club/bar environments it's often thought the most difficult approach of all is directly approaching a group of uber hot women and successful endgame of taking one home. This post demonstrates a number of methods to give these girls the good seeing too they all crave and make everyone happy in the process. The methods outlined can be deconstructed and used in isolation in various other situations, but in this case they're usually all needed due to our quarry being in a group and all hot. Social engineering methods will run alongside psychological ones for maximum impact. The group should be of a minimum of four women and a maximum of ten, and preferably receiving a lot of passive attention from other males.
Please note: This is a meta strategy to achieve an end goal. If at any point your target shows genuine interest you can skip steps, as you're already where you want to be (but watch for compliance tests).
Step 1: Identifying Your Targets The first step is deciding which girls you're going to use as your gateway strategy. I say, "girls" because as well as selecting a target (your end game girl) you will also need to identify one of the other girls as a leverage point for the social dynamic aspect of the method.
[ In this case it doesn't have to be mother hen as the status of the girls in the group is pretty similar so there's little difference in "ranking" due to them all being 9's or 10's.]
The girl to use as leverage will be the girl most interested in being approached and thus most likely ascribed by the other girls unconsciously as their biggest s@xual rival. To identify her, study the group carefully. Your selection will seem less interested in the inane female chit chat taking place and will tend to scan the environment, looking around to check who is in the venue (which Chads) more so than the other girls.
She's looking to see which guys are there as it's her intention to get laid that night. She will most likely be wearing the most revealing outfit in the group and peaking in her ovulation cycle. Possibly wearing something red or maybe just red lipstick or nails as women seem to have a predilection for the colour -combined with skimpy outfits- when they're at their most fertile, and thus at their horniest.
[Not wearing red isn't a deal breaker, but if you're 50/50 over two girls in the group, then use the red wearing one as your default selection. A number of scientific studies have correlated the colour to women at their most fertile/horny. As the saying goes "Red shoes, no knickers".
Women are always checking out other girls in public venues to monitor their status in the ongoing attraction hierarchy - but if you watch - you will see that girls with red clothing or nails/lipstick receive particular attention when they're first spotted. The other girls know full well the significance of what's going on, even if it's just on an unconscious level.
The other girls in the group will know this too unconsciously and attempt to engineer spoiling strategies to counter their rival. You may notice they will look at her more to check what's she's up to and rubberneck during conversations they're having with the others to keep tabs on her: Watch for this.
The final sign is a body language indicator much beloved by used car salesmen and one (now that you've read this) you're going to see, all the time and even notice yourself doing it to the point you say "WTF!" when you see the hidden matrix of attraction cues going on around you.
Have you ever seen two people who know each other, meet and stop in the street for a chit chat, but one needs to get away because they're busy? Have you noticed what happens to the angle of one of their feet? It POINTS towards the direction they want to go: the direction they were originally heading, it's unconscious body language leakage indicating an ongoing desire that's found even in higher primates.
Good car salesmen know this too, when they're chatting to a prospect on the lot they're keeping a close eye on where your foot is pointing as THAT'S the car you like. Your foot points towards things you like, and away from things you don't. We all do it, I do it, you do it and hot bitches in bars do it.
Of all the body language clues the most accurate (and only ones which can be used in isolation) are eye contact and foot pointing. When you're stood in a bar or chatting to your buddies, the default position for you feet are the 5 minutes to 1 position. Look for girls who have a foot deviating from this stance unless there's a good reason, then look to see where it's pointing.
[In fact; next time you're in a bar or club with your buddies, look towards where one of your own feet are pointing. If one of them is pointed away from its default position then it's very likely pointing towards some hottie you have your eye on]
In Summary: The girl you are going to use as leverage to assist your entry will be exhibiting what's known as an "R cluster".
- Reconnaissance: She's scanning the bar looking for which guys (Chads) are in the venue as potential partners.
- Revealing: She will most likely be the most sexily dressed of the group.
- Red: She will most likely be wearing the colour red.
- Real Interest: One of her feet will be pointing away from the group and towards where her real interest lays, usually a man or group of men.
Under any other circumstances this is the girl whom you should target in an approach strategy; whether it be a mother hen gateway -then move to your interest- or a direct approach to your interest from off the bat. Either way this is the girl most DTF that night.
In this case however, with the group all being uber hotties this is the girl you will use as your leverage point for entry - without activating any alarm bells, but the purpose of this strategy is gaining access first, disqualifying yourself from your approach girl (albeit temporarily) and then use your game skills to move things on.
Your actual target girl is the next one down on the "R cluster" scale. She will be exhibiting some or all of the "R cluster" traits (though not to the extent of your leverage girl) but also target girl will be rubber necking your leverage girl as her prime s@xual rival that night. Women pick up on other girls who are ovulating on an unconscious level and adjust their behaviours sub consciously by mate guarding their partner more if they have one, and cockblocking their female friends if they're both single. You're going to use this unconscious behavioural drive for your own ends.
Step 2: The approach. In this situation you have two types of frame. 1/ The extant frame: Group of super hotties too good for anyone in the bar and "girl power" blowing off men and acting like a pack of bitches.
2/ The intrinsic frame: The real frame, a group of s@xual rivals jockeying for status, utilising devious feminine psychological methods on each other, but pretending to be best girly friends while they do it.
The problem is: An extant frame can be pretty solid due to what's known as embodied cognition and the girls actually start acting as if this is the reality they're in, they start feeding their emotional states off each other in a feedback loop known as "Limbic resonance" and post hoc rationalising their own behaviour (known as "Hamstering"....) to avoid cognitive dissonance.
In broscience this is called "Believing your own s@it". A radical deframe is required. Gentlemen, such a deframing exists.
"The Queens Of Sheba Opener."
Internalise your RP mindset as the selector and approach your target girl direct (ensure she has a full drink as you don't want any distractions or default "drink tooling" programs firing up). Make sure she sees you are approaching so you don't trigger an auto pilot response by surprising her, then stop in front of her as if weighing her up for a few seconds, then ask the question.
"Who's your friend?"
She'll be expecting a chat up line or random beta validation, but gets surprise instead (the type we DO need) which derails normal s@it testing programming (we're also generating an emotional response here, which is good) but curiosity will make her ask...
"Which one?" [ that's why we need a minimum of 4 girls in the group ].
With a nod of your head towards your leverage girl reply...
"The one all the guys are interested in"
This is a huge deframe. There she is enjoying all this attention and validation, then all of a sudden the rug is pulled from under her: The attention and validation may not actually be for her!
Hamster central rapidly boots up to protect her self-image.
"The guys are looking at all of us....?"
"Is nobody actually interested in me and it's actually my friend that's creating all this interest from guys...?"
"I'm beautiful, but is she so much more attractive than me that all these guys don't care?"
"Am I the least attractive of my friends...?"
"What the f@ck is my status in the group...?"
All these thoughts go through her head in a split second as you've just triggered an "imposter syndrome" program to run in her mind. Not only that, but the source of it is her prime s@xual rival who she unconsciously ascribes as a threat.
Oh fu@king dear...
Her status is now in limbo and needs a reference point to stabilise itself so her limbic brain creates a sense of dread causing her to reframe from the bottom up to achieve some stability to build from. The dread is hard-wired into her brain: In the ancestral environment a rapid change in circumstances could mean imminent danger or a big survival opportunity. The limbic brain doesn't trust your pre-frontal cortex (the conscious) to deal with it so pulls rank and drops into heuristic mode.
Heuristics are nothing more than pre-wired emotional responses on how to deal with something quickly. They come from the emotional brain and are combinations of responses based on previous similar experiences (the social emotions like, shame, guilt, jealousy etc) with some actually hard-wired into the brain's source code (like fear, anger, lust etc ). When these heuristics are running then you're also susceptible to influence, as you're locking onto someone else's frame as a scaffolding to bring you back to normality/stasis and the "emotional traffic highway" is now open for emotions coming in the opposite direction (from the other person).
Your frame as selector and alpha is incorporated into her own.
[ To the vast majority of girls "status" within their peer group (which used to be the tribe) is of considerable importance as it had to be kept a close eye on in the ancestral environment to maximise the potential of mating with the highest alpha male they could get. It had to be monitored at all times and like I said action taken to avoid any potential loss and seize on the opportunity for any potential improvement.]
With very hot girls status is even more important as being "top girl" was the genetic jackpot for their genes. These girls now pretty much have everything, the looks, the orbiters, the protectors, and all the other benefits which come from being an uber hottie. The one thing they have to work for is their status/value with other uber hotties in their group/tribe.
Lost at sea she now starts to do something she very rarely does: She starts qualifying herself to you and sabotaging her rival.
Step 3: The Lock In
Important If you start validating her now, then any potential attraction will disappear very quickly. Remember this as you will have an urge to do so.
The behaviour you drop into now is that of "amused mastery" with a heavy emphasis of skepticism. Cross your arms when she's validating herself, but listen to the criteria she's basing herself judged worth upon. See if you can find an adjective she seems keen on which you can use to preface the word "Confident". When you've identified the word then make sure to slightly nod when you hear it (more about this later, but it's to do with what are called "trancewords".) The nod is a way of analogically marking it through body language so that its significance is processed unconsciously, as body language is decoded by the unconscious brain first and the conscious secondly, but only if it appears to be incongruous will the conscious boot up to give it "due process".
Keep a wry amused smile on your face, she will sense that you're not taking the bait and most likely go some light kino on you to punctuate her emotional state and expect you to invest with some validation. Kino her back, but always in a pushing fashion and don't look where you touch (it's creepy). Because of her emotional state your kino won't be processed at a conscious level as the cognitive buffer is filled with other concerns, but unconsciously it's getting through to her attraction centres.
Step 4 The Lock Down The key now is to drop her out of her emotional state temporarily and then spike it back up again using a process known as "refractionation". Basically when someone comes out and then back into the same emotional state, the second time they go into it, it's more powerful. It's a method used by the "speed seduction" community to generate high levels of arousal in a woman, but in this case we're just using it for a different emotional model to suit our strategy.
Uncross your arms with a sigh, relax and then change the subject to something mundane going on in the venue as if you're just chatting to one of your buddies. Men do not do this to uber hotties as their usual remit is to try to impress them. She will think you've disqualified her (causing slight confusion) as a potential partner and up your ascribed value in her mind. Carry on the conversation for about a minute and then drop the line. "Actually you have three big advantages over your friend" (leverage girl).
[Credit for this goes once again to Mystery and was originally known as the "Three Things About You Technique". Its methodology was to tell a girl two things about herself attraction wise that she didn't know, but not the third. The PUA could then either go sarge other girls or go to the washroom or bar knowing he had inoculated the girl from further approaches by other guys hanging around as she always wanted to find out the third.]
It uses a cognitive bias we all have known as the "Zeigernic effect" and is very effective [I can vouch for its impact as I've had girls come to a bar they knew I was going next, wait outside a wash room for me, and even been pulled out of a taxi to find out the elusive third thing.]
The Three Things: This time, however we're going to use the "things" as vehicles for some pretty devious and cunning psychological deep mind influence.
When she asks what they are, use the ones below and make sure to preface the first with the words "The first one is". This is to create a language pattern known as an *"Ordinal".
An "Ordinal" is a presupposition that there will be a number of things. By using the word "first" you're implying that there will be a second, third, etc. The second, third may not even exist, but the listener presupposes that they do as you used the word "first".
[ The woman already knows there will be three things, but in this case you're using it a reinforcer to prevent cognitive drift ]
Then use the word "Because". "Because" is a statement as opposed to a question and various studies have discovered the word as a preface generates more influence from the speaker. This is because the laws of cause and effect are programmed into all higher animal brains, but by using the word at the beginning of our list (use it only for the first thing) and going through the list in this order, we are starting a process called *"State Titration" so each separate "thing" titrates into the next one, making the process seamless and generating *"cognitive fluency" to prevent her critical factor booting up.
[Count them off on your fingers as you do so. In this way you're again using a body language cue to anchor them.]
1/ " The first thing is because...." Then a comment on her appearance, but not anything physical. It's important that it's something which you genuinely like as the very fact that you have spotted it means it will be something which she wore for that purpose. Something like her dress or shoes making her look "classy" or "sophisticated" as if these are essential criteria for you in a partner (if you DO have essential criteria then use those instead as it will help your congruence).
She will see this as an advantage she has over her fellow beauty leverage girl and mentally agree.
You have just started what's known as a "Yes Set" (getting her mind into the house of yes) to ease the next two things through.
2/ A comment on how she's a friendly girl and not standoffish. The reason for this is you're "priming" the "friendly" behaviour mindset (by "half cocking" the relevant network of neurons" ) into her brain, so she will more likely to act friendly and less keen to start s@it testing you. Because you've already got her brain into yes mode (the essence of the "yes set") from your first statement and you're titrating emotional state, her critical factor (the pre-frontal cortex) usually lets the idea into her mind without much introspection. ( No need to use "because" or "The .......thing is", from now on as their work is done ).
3/ Now we use the most Machiavellian attraction trigger in existence...
The Amygdala Feedback Loop.
But first some background. You may have noticed I'm a big proponent of "embodied cognition". This is for good reason. It's commonly reasoned that when the mind wants the body to do something, it sends a signal to cause the result it requires. This is true, but only half the story. When the body commits the action the mind requests, it sends a signal back to the brain to announce its new state. The brain analyses the return signal and tweaks its instructions in a feedback loop to fine-tune everything and achieve maximum efficiency.
However...if you consciously induce that state in yourself or someone else then the unconscious picks up the return signal and assumes that the signal is the current "state of play" of how things are, and sychronises itself to it, feeding back the new mental model to the body in an ever strengthening loop until the new state becomes the new reality.
There's been a lot of research into this and the original model was proven by researchers who asked test volunteers to read jokes with and without a pencil held in their mouth. They discovered that the volunteers found the jokes funnier with the pencils then without them.
Holding the pencil in the mouth requires the face to use the "Zygomatic major muscle" to do so. This muscle is also the one which unconsciously triggers when we smile. The brain senses that the muscle is triggering and infers that activity is happening in the body which correlates to a happy/funny state. Instead of the feedback loop going "brain to body to brain to body...." it begins at the state of the "body" instead. The mind adopts the state of the body (happy) to avoid dissonance and the new state becomes the norm, but in this case... You find the jokes funnier.
So...we trigger a behaviour in the girl which correlates to her being attracted to someone.
Sometimes however, this feedback loop runs out of control and can actually cause a panic attack. Calibrate her state closely at this time as any other emotions ongoing in her psyche can hitch a ride on the loop, and some girls can go really crazy when this happens. We're running a pure attraction loop and nothing else here so be careful what you're doing.
We count off our third finger, look her in the eye, pause, and then say......
"The third thing is you make lots of very confident eye contact".
Why? Because very attractive girls are very adept at avoiding eye contact with random guys who constantly try to make it with them. If they didn't, then they would have no end of loser types she has no interest in approaching her and wasting her time.
The only guys she *does make eye contact with, are guys she is interested in or attracted to. You've induced a state of attraction in her as she will now adopt that behaviour with you. The body is saying to the brain "I'm making a great deal of eye contact with this guy" so her mind says "Ok that must mean I am attracted to him, so make more of the same" and the feedback loop continues.
The reasons she adopts the behaviour are.
1/ She's in validation mode with you as her sexual rival is stealing her thunder; she wants it back and if eye contact is an ace up her sleeve, then so be it.
2/ She's in the final stage of a "yes set".
3/ Do you remember the bit about "trancewords" earlier? Trancewords are words (usually adjectives) based on a person's sense of values. These values are an actual part of someones identity at their most powerful. When she's stating her case for being more attractive/desirable than her rival she's using what she considers her main advantages over her.
They could be: "I'm more passionate", "classy", "sophisticated", "deep", "seductive" etc.
So the final push to get this behaviour through to her limbic brain is to utilise a value which has already been "preapproved" by her unconscious as being important to her. This is a technique known as "tailgating". You take a value very close to another person's belief model, link it to the value/behaviour you wish to induce and the very association of the latter to the former stamps the signal approved for access to limbic brain to the package as a whole. Into her mind it goes to be unwrapped back into its two separate values once it's arrives.
Machiavellian? Totally. Manipulative? Absolutely.
So....For the final push... with a slight nod (our earlier state anchor) we say...
"You make very confident (insert trance word here) eye contact".
Step 5: Welcome To My Frame
This stage is the stage to drop her totally out of her frame and into yours. You invite her into your territory. One of the remits of an alpha male in the entire animal kingdom is that they have their own territory. In this case, it would either be where you were originally stood if you're on your own, or back to your wingmen/wingman if you're in a group. By doing so you're demonstrating territorial, attraction generating cues at the very deepest parts of her limbic mind. That's the place (amygdala) where the values "Fight, Feed, F@ck" reside.
This is deep core and the place you want to be.
Step 6: How The World Is
If you're on your own, then project the emotional behaviour and frame that's she's a plate that you're very fond of (mentally not verbally) and run with that, with the odd unpredictable intercession (this refractionates but also loads up her cognitive buffer to keep the unconscious highways clear).
If you're with your buddies then brief them before the approach on what to do when you bring the girl over. A good first thing for one of them to say is.
"Are we staying or are we going?"
By doing this you indicate to her that you're the leader of your group (the alpha) but also imply a "scarcity" mindset in her so she will infer that you may actually be leaving (after all this chemistry!) and make her invest more.
You of course reply...
"I haven't decided yet"
The mindset your group should now operate on, is as if she's a girlfriend you've been dating a while, but they've just met her. The group frame that this is the reality in question will permeate unconsciously and eliminate any residual frame she has (people drop into the strongest frame they're interacting with 95% of the time).
No doubt the buddies will be looking for a piece of the action too, in which case ask her a female opinion on something then get her to invite one of her friends over to back her up. Now her group is splitting, some of your guys can go over and chat to the remaining ones. Top R cluster girl is your best bet here for ease of entry.
After that is up to you, but the goal you want is to separate and isolate all the girls into groups of two (two girls-two wingmen) then run with it, with the end goal of bouncing in pairs to the next venue, but keep your frame tight at all times.
The most important thing about this method is YOU. In all human interactions, people send out what could be called "reality pings" like a submarine's sonar. These "pings" detect the frame of an ongoing interaction and who's going to drop into whose frame. The pings happen on an unconscious level and give an emotional valence to the frame at hand. Most people know about body language communication at a meta level, but below that there are tiny nuances in behaviour and physiology called "BMIRs". This stands for *Behavioural Manifestations Of Internal Representations".
BMIR's are impossible to consciously fake and also very difficult consciously to detect. They just give us a gut feeling about someone (although the American secret service does train its agents using some BMIRs called "Facial Action Cues" [Micro gestures of the face which last only 300 milliseconds] developed by a guy called Paul Ekman so it can be done.
Alas we don't have access to this level of training but there is a fast track method.
Genuinely believing your TRP frame and knowing 100% that the method will work. When you do that your BMIRs are a 100% reflections of your intentions and mental frame. The woman gets the "feelz" about you on an unconscious level. Her "reality pings" are mapping your psyche and getting the thumbs up (it's based on the "limbic resonance" I covered earlier). Hypnotists utilise the concept by what's called "going first". They adopt the emotion they wish their subject to have, the subject picks up the BMIRs of the emotion, their mirror neurons inject it into their own "global-workspace" and they feel the emotion themselves.
Remember though: In field is chaos at the best of times with people coming in and out of set and a great deal of distractions (Mobile phones!) but the greater the integrity of your frame (your force field) the less effect these things will have.
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