Craziest Story About North Korea

6:46 AM Amer Bekic 0 Comments

According to the South Korean Newspaper the Joonang Ilbo, several defectors from North Korea were stunned to discover that women actually have surgery to enlarge their breasts. In the fairly rigid, male-dominated society of North Korea women with large breasts are often stigmatized and treated badly to an extent that some turn to herbal "cures" for large breasts or attempt to hide them. For men, being short is the crime, and can result in forcible relocation to certain islands. The elderly are simply encouraged to stay indoors and out of sight (nice huh).

Routine reporting of various supernatural abilities and myths surrounding the Kim family and supposed accomplishments of the nation in general have gone well into the gonzo zone. The most recent I'm aware of were the state media reports of having found ancient unicorn lairs. This article does the topic justice

Kim Jong-il was the world's single largest consumer of Hennessy cognac, spending about $700,000 on it annually. His overall budget for booze was about $2.4 million, and he spent $7.5 million on Marlboro cigarettes. Since taking power Kim Jong-un has increased this spending on personal luxuries, which prompted recent UN sanctions to specifically target luxury items. This change appears to have caused much more ire with the NK government than prior sanctions which did not directly effect the elite.

The happy citizens of the DPRK have a wealth of choices in life - for instance, women may choose any of 18 state-approved hairstyles, though unmarried women are supposed to choose the shorter styles and avoid longer hair. Men only have 10 to choose from. A state television program in 2005 titled "Let us trim our hair in accordance with Socialist lifestyle" took 5 episodes to cover the details, and no doubt a thrilling watch it was for the largely starving population.

Many of the (state owned, of course) vehicles in North Korea run on wood and coal, another fine example of the stunning ingenuity of the forward thinking progressive DPRK. Here's some video. But this comes with a cost, not only is it terribly polluting but between these vehicles and the need for wood and coal for heating, much of the country has been stripped bare of trees. It seems that in the DPRK environmental issues are solved simply, by removing the offending environment completely and replacing it with anti-tank bollards and, towards the borders, huge monuments packed with explosives which can be blown to slow imperialist aggressors. Who needs stinkin trees?