10 Life Tips

3:36 AM Amer Bekic 0 Comments




1) "How Am I Feeling?"

When was the last time you stopped and asked yourself how you FEEL?  We tend to live in our heads, and when faced with a problem or a dilemma go straight to logic.  But the truth is, when you make decisions from your felt-sense, you know the right answer.  You can FEEL it in your chest.  It might not make sense, it might be scary, but you know what you need to do—or you know whether you are in a positive or toxic situation, if you are seeing things as they truly are, etc.  As often as you can, try to drop back into your felt-sense and ask yourself, "How Am I Feeling?"

2) Nobody Knows You Better Than You

We are constantly told by other people who we are, what we should do, how we should think, why we should or shouldn't do what we want to do, etc.  We are told to be more this, less this, some of this, none of this.  And the more you attach  to what other people say, the less you really know yourself. 

If you know something is right for you, and someone tells you differently, they are not right.  If you know you need to do something for yourself, and someone tells you no, they are not right.  If you love something and someone tells you that's wrong, you are not wrong.  This does not mean don't contemplate, reflect, or consider other people's thoughts, beliefs, and opinions—absolutely do, that is how you learn.  But at the end of the day, you know yourself better than anyone in this world.  Own it.

3) Don't Worry, You're Not Missing Out

The pleasures of life create struggle within the self.  People party and you feel like you need to party.  People go out and you feel like you need to go out.  People drink and you feel like you need to drink.  People do crazy stuff and you feel like you need to do crazy stuff.  And a lot of it boils down to this feeling that you aren't part of what's "happening" and you are "missing out."

First off, you aren't.  Partying is cool.  Staying in and reading is cool.  If I want to go party, I go party.  If I want to stay in for the night and read, I stay in for the night and read.  One is not better than the other.  There will always be another party, and there will always be another night to stay in and read.  Make decisions that will resonate with you and keep you happy right Now. 

4) Remember The Future

In contrast to #4 and the idea of keeping yourself happy right Now, remember the worthwhile investment of aiming towards the future you want to build for yourself. If every decision you make is entirely in the present (which is good) then you run the risk of being somewhere you might not have intended 1, 5, 10 years later.

Every day, in every moment, keep yourself happy while also remembering why you are doing what you are doing—and ultimately what you are aiming for.  There is a difference between "instant gratification" and "deep happiness."  For example, I know that I could make myself "happy" (in a sense) by watching hours and hours of Netflix shows—entertaining, fun, etc.  But in that process I am wasting a lot of valuable time.  It is much harder to force myself to work on my craft(s) at the end of my long days but when I get into the flow and especially when I finish, I feel a much deeper sense of "happiness." 

Keep yourself happy Now but also remember what you are working towards.  When you execute things that accomplish both at the same time, you are truly walking your path.

5) Recognize Love Within Yourself

The first time you fall in love, you think it's because of the person.  The second time you fall in love, you think it's because you found a better person.  The third time you fall in love, you realize it's because you have discovered love within yourself.

The key to love is non-attachment.  It is the ability to look with wonder and not want.  To touch with appreciation and not expectation.  To listen with curiosity and not projection.  To play, not act. 

Be open to the fall.  Welcome whatever comes.  Love is not about finding the perfect person.  Love is about feeling whatever you feel in the moment and being aware and thankful for that experience.

6) Honesty Always Wins

I believe there are three paths you can take through life. 

The first is created in the mind. It tells you to see things the way you are told to see them.  It encourages manipulation, logic, theory, recognizes patterns and makes decisions accordingly.  Great by society's standards, not so great when you wake up one day and realize you aren't living your truth your fulfilling your life purpose.

The second is created in the heart.  It tells you to feel your way through life, to make decisions beyond logic and to just go wherever the heart says.  Great in theory, not so great in practice (sometimes logic needs to be heard in order to avoid learning the same tough lessons over and over again).

The third is created by the alignment of the two.  You let your heart lead, and you let your mind reflect.  But the way that you do this is by always being honest.  You trust your emotions, but you also speak your mind.  You let your heart take risks, but you also speak your truth—whatever that means in this moment, whether that is sharing joy or admitting pain. 

You're living in your head if you think you have to act a certain way in order to gain approval, and you're living in your heart if you feel everything yet feel like life is a wave and you are being whipped around.  Align both and you will become the surfer, riding the waves of life with intention and deliberation.

7) Eat, Drink, and Live Healthfully

Trust me, not many people know anything about food.  Do not look to the masses for eating habits or insights on nutrition and healthy living.

Learn for yourself and live that journey.  Eat well and you will feel so much better.  You will radiate attraction because you have energy that is "clean."  Treat your body like your temple.  Everything that you put in it, realize it will have an affect on you in some way or another.  This will do you good in every area of your life.

8) Value Both, Vertical and Horizontal Growth

Some people want to be experts.  They want to know one thing and know it better than anyone else and that's it.

Other people want to be Renaissance Men/Women.  They want to know a little bit of everything but never dig into the hard work of deep knowledge.

Do both. 

Learn how to work past challenges and boundaries in order to master a particular craft, skill, or industry—but also challenge yourself to see outside that box and look at other crafts, skills, and industries.  This combination is the key to innovation and creativity.  And the more deep knowledge you connect with horizontal knowledge, the more possibilities will unfold and the more parallels you will draw between even the most foreign genres.

9) Be The Mayor

I call this "The Mayor Principle."  Everywhere you go, everything you do, be open to meeting new people.  You never know who you will meet, who they know, and the role you might play in each other's lives. 

Lots of people see this as a task or a chore.  It's not.  Be yourself and be open.  That's it.  Put your ego aside and be willing to have conversations with people from all walks of life.  Listen.  Learn.  Be a kind human being and you will have so much positive energy coming your way. 

10) Follow Your Dream

This is the ultimate life tip—and I don't say this lightly.

FOLLOW YOUR DREAM.

So many of us hear this phrase and feel as though we have to throw everything away in order to do it.  The mentality is, "I'm either following my dream or I'm working in a cubicle."  We associate our "dream" with external approval, success, validation, fame, fortune—but that's not the truth of it.  The truth is, it's our dream because we love doing it.  We fell in love with it by ourselves, without any money or praise or any outside factors telling us to love it.  It's our dream because it speaks to a very deep and very honest part of ourselves.

You can still follow your dream even if you work 9-5, even if you work late nights, even if you have a family, even if you have no money, even if nothing is going right in your life and you feel down and defeated—you can always follow your dream.  Working on your craft for 15 minutes before bed is still, in some sense, following your dream.  Sharing what you make with your closest friends is still, in some sense, following your dream.  Being who you are on a daily basis that aligns with your dream is still, in some sense, following your dream.

Follow.  Your.  Dream.

Aka --

Don't stop doing what you love.

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